Updated: Mar 13
To share 'My Why' I feel I need to get into the nitty gritty of what truly drives me to show up, even though there have been times when I just wanted to give up.
After creating time over the past 12 months to reflect and delve deeply into 'My Why', I discovered much more than I anticipated.
I felt to write this blog that it would be best if I let go of what 'should be' and make way for 'what is' to flow freely.
To allow this to happen I'm writing the remainder of this blog via automatic writing.
Simply allowing the words to flow.
Back when I was a child, I really did struggle with being super sensitive.
My stomach would constantly be churning AND my mind would always be racing.
I lived in constant fear of being rejected, humiliated, harmed, abandoned and unloved.
The world I lived in was a self-critical, self-sabotaging, self-loathing and self-sacrificing world.
The world I lived in was mostly being driven by my thoughts – an untamed mindset.
My mind was my own worst enemy!
My goal in life was to be INVISIBLE!
I never wanted to be the centre of attention!
In class I would be petrified if I was asked to speak and I would almost hyperventilate if the focus was on me.
When I was in high school, I recall someone saying to me that people were too scared to speak to me because I was so shy and looked like I would cry if anyone came near me.
I was also bullied at school which added to my overwhelm.
Throw into the mix the effects of trauma which is handed down from generation to generation.
Past life experiences that ripple into this lifetime.
The judgment and fear being projected by others through their words, emotions, thoughts and actions.
My lack of knowledge and understanding that it was even possible to change my mindset and tap into my inner wisdom, created a messy mix of emotions within the depths of my being whilst always endeavouring to keep a smile on my face and ensure that EVERYONE else’s needs were a priority.
Do we 'FORGET' to protect ourselves?
When I was 11, I was sexually assaulted by a neighbour - gripped with fear I unknowingly and temporarily erased this from my conscious memory.
It was pushed down somewhere deep until my mid-teens when it suddenly EXPLODED into the forefront of my mind.
The memory brought to the surface oodles and oodles of deep, deep guilt, shame, fear and sadness which would haunt me for decades.
In my late teens I knocked on death’s door!
I was running on adrenaline and was diagnosed with Glandular Fever. Prior to this, I was already super slim and now being unable to swallow my own saliva, let alone eat, it eventually lead to my body becoming so fragile and thin that I was hospitalised to help get me back on track - with months of recovery time - anxiety ruled.
A Defining Aha Moment that Reinforced the Importance of Self Love
Overwhelmed and gripped with anxiety in my late 30's, I felt living was way too hard and seriously considered how I could end the emotional and mental pain.
Days turned into weeks.
Weeks turned into months.
Months turned into a few years of regular and random panic attacks.
Anxiety showed up in subtle and LOUD ways!
Anxiety would creep in slowly OR it appeared to HIT me out of nowhere.
It became even more clear to me that anxiety is A BIG RED FLAG that says it’s time to pause and reassess where your thoughts and priorities reside?
So how did I go from
'being absolutely petrified of being seen or heard
AND filled with anxiety'
'feeling an indescribably strong passion to
show up, stand out from the crowd,
own my uniqueness and
teach other beautiful souls the
importance of self-love'?
I experienced an exciting moment in my life that opened an invisible doorway to the Universe for me.
An experience that connected me with my magic within.
I discovered the power of energy healing!
An innate gift that had always resided within me although I was now reacquainted with.
This was the start of a long, happy and continuing journey of self-discovery.
How can 'what we think' really affect us?
In the early years of 'my conscious journey' I began reading books that resonated deeply with me.
Books that explained the power of how our thoughts affect our emotions, mind, body and spirit.
Louise Hay 'You Can Heal Your Life' and Dr. Wayne Dyer 'There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem' were my favourites and they still watch over me from my bookcase as a beautiful reminder to focus on gratitude and creating positive outcomes.
These two amazing people inspired me to focus on loving my Self unconditionally.
They both taught me the power of being authentic and showing up in life.
The Mindset is Key
Just over 10 years ago I was super excited to attend trainings in Brisbane which lead me to become a Master NLP and Hypnosis Practitioner and a Performance Coach.
These trainings gifted me oodles of cool strategies and techniques to add to an already awesome and highly effective toolkit, to help powerfully transform lives, including: -
> Replacing limiting beliefs with beliefs that manifest the outcomes you deserve
> Overcoming phobias that have kept you paralysed and stuck in fear.
> Creating new perspectives on past experiences which helps to dissolve the triggers and pain points
> Plus so much more…
My next big adventure was to Sydney where I joined over 300 people to learn how to speak on stage - yep little shy me!
When I decided to book my place, I was super keen although…
With transparency I say…I wanted out, just before I went!
I was terrified!
How and why did I think that this was something I wanted to do?
Two days prior to flying to Sydney I was ‘beside myself with fear’.
Although once again, I knew deep down this was meant to be AND it was about me showing up and breaking through the barriers that had previously kept me frozen.
I experienced massive panic attacks during the week long event BUT I did it!
AND…I'm so happy that I did!
This was a powerful and healing experience!
It taught me that my voice is important and by me stepping up and shining my light brightly, it also helps to inspire others to do the same.
These discoveries about my Self AND the happiness and confidence they instilled in me, compels me to teach others how to connect with their inner wisdom and learn about the power that comes from nurturing their soul, loving themselves, creating a positive mindset and taking control of their lives.
I’m delighted to say the panic attacks eventually subsided!
I now have an enormous respect for the need to nurture my soul, take time out for self-care and listen to my inner guidance.
Is it always easy?
Although the key is to:
> BE AWARE of your thoughts
> STOP second guessing your Self
> BE brave
> TRUST you are being divinely guided
> UNDERSTAND the clarity will come as you break down the barriers between fear and success
> KNOW that your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being is paramount; and
> Surround your Self with happy, positive people who look for the blessings in every situation and focus on gratitude.
This is a timely reminder that: -
> YOU are the only one that can take the next step
> YOU are the only one that can make the changes
> YOU are the only one that can step up and own your uniqueness; and
> YOUR life will change exponentially when you give your Self permission to let your light shine brightly
Life is now incredibly different for me!
I live and breathe learning, growing, discovering, sharing and focusing on gratitude.
My life is a continual journey of self-discovery.
What is YOUR WHY?
What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
Why do you do what you do?
We all have defining moments in life that change us forever.
Which defining moment in your life jumps to the forefront of your mind?
Was it a happy and positive experience?
Was it an experience that you would love help with to understand, process and heal from within?
If you’re looking for someone to lovingly and gently take you by the hand as you walk through the invisible doors of the Universe
Would love to have someone who is your biggest cheerleader as you break down the barriers of fear and overwhelm
If you need someone who will help you be accountable to showing up, stepping up and Owning Your Uniqueness.
I’m here for you!
Moving you from fear to confidence.
I’m available for 1:1 Positive Mindset Mentoring Programs
I offer personalised Breakthrough Sessions to support you as you delve deeply into the root cause of your trauma, helping to restore peace and balance to your mind and emotions using my unique energy and mindset tools to ensure you achieve optimised results.
I also offer Online Group Mentoring Programs if you love connecting with other heart centred women.
Let’s make this year your best yet as you step outside your comfort zone and connect with your magic within!
I'd love to know 'Your Why'!
You can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org to let me know what makes your light shine brightly!